How to fix 99% of engineering problems

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How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by pedned on Tue May 15, 2012 9:34 pm


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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by graymac on Tue May 15, 2012 9:51 pm

A very large hammer (AKA "Birmingham Screwdriver") usually does the trick but this is very advanced engineering indeed and the technology will be very useful once the users have had the necessary training. Very Happy
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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by thehoviskid on Tue May 15, 2012 10:16 pm

Oooh, you'll been needing a risk assessment for using that sort of thing! Careful now.....
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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by pedned on Tue May 15, 2012 10:21 pm

Theres always the old electrical fix... "Hmm no power, I wonder if there a live and earth actually working", Shove a screw driver against them to find out... If it sparks, or you feel a tingling sensation in your arm the fault is somewhere after the wires you've just shorted out...

Again, necessary training may be required.

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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by Quork on Tue May 15, 2012 10:55 pm

For many years, the favourite layout for error search rasters was the, quite good, system of flowcharts similar to this one. There are quite a few fake ones, e.g. I got one for repairing the electrical duty torch
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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by Drag0nflamez on Wed May 16, 2012 11:46 am

Still my favorite.

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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by graymac on Wed May 16, 2012 1:13 pm

If it sparks, or you feel a tingling sensation in your arm the fault is somewhere after the wires you've just shorted out...
Children, DO NOT try this at home unsupervised. Let mummy or daddy (whichever you like the less) do it for you.Jamie is a very naughty boy (he's NOT your messiah) for suggesting it ** Twisted Evil

@ Drag0nflamez - That one is often the best we can do! Even if it is like going around in ever-decreasing circles, until you disappear up . . . . . Very Happy

**


Last edited by graymac on Wed May 16, 2012 1:18 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : add U-bend clip)
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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by BruceS on Wed May 16, 2012 1:17 pm

graymac wrote: Let mummy or daddy (whichever you like the less) do it for you.

Nasty! Twisted Evil

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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by graymac on Wed May 16, 2012 1:30 pm

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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by Egg on Wed May 16, 2012 2:27 pm

When I was a clever, inexperienced kid, I touched a mains wire to see if it had power, but couldn't feel anything. Being a clever kid, I knew that sparrows could sit on high voltage wires because they weren't earthed, so I touched the kitchen tap with my other hand. Yes, power' was there alright. Not so clever kid now shaken AND stirred, but more experienced. Didn't do that again.

Now I'm older, and I can see a flaw in the above flowchart:
"Have you been trying this for over half an hour?"
How would I know? I can't remember anything.Perhaps a better, more reliable, question would be:
"Do you need a pee yet?"

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Re: How to fix 99% of engineering problems

Post by graymac on Wed May 16, 2012 3:12 pm

"Do you need a pee yet?"
Not on the electric socket while holding the cold water tap!

Someone I know was homeward bound from the pub in a dreamy state of inebriation, not driving, he was walking the three miles along the rural Irish lanes. Of course, well before he reached his bungalow, he was "caught short", so with no witness but the moon and stars he proceeded to relieve himself in the hedgerow. Completely failing to notice the electric fence his neighbour had provided to keep the cattle from straying . . . . . . .
Someone heard the scream five miles away in Killasser!
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